A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Being the mother of a small child, born into an addictive household I have found having access to NA meetings with a crèche facility a rare but vital part of my recovery.  It has certainly been a challenge to come up with solutions to babysitting problems due to needing to get to a meeting.  I was lucky to have a friend from the rooms, who lived nearby and was able to help with this – but, old behaviour being rife, I also relied at times on my still using (ex) partner to baby–sit whilst I went to meetings.  This proved hard work as boundary issues were exploding into arguments and my daughter acted out her parents’ conflict more and more alarmingly.

Once a week, however, I attended my home group – a women’s meeting with a crèche and the support and identification I have received from this meeting has been immeasurable.  At about this time, thankfully, a second meeting with a crèche began – now I had two definite places to go where I could share openly and honestly without censoring for my daughter’s sake, and without worrying about the arguments that might erupt when I got home.

I really don’t think I could have made it this far in my recovery – 18 months clean – without these meetings.  Now, on schooldays, I can supplement them with lunch time NA, but the basis of my support always, for me, lies in meetings with other carers in recovery where the level of identification is healing in itself.

My (ex) partner and I are more able to share childcare responsibilities now.  He feels, I believe, less used as a convenient babysitter and I feel happier with the safety of my own, drug–free home.  I have stopped enabling him by providing a refuge from reality and now, thank God, he is on his own detox programme.  My daughter enjoys a safe and happy home life and my recovery is coming on leaps and bounds since putting these boundaries in place.   Many many thanks to all those who have helped me with childcare issues: I couldn’t have stayed clean without you.

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